Forum » Loža » pitonka
pitonka
perci ::
> > Zajcek pride v javno hiso, seveda zeljan seksa.
> > Ponudijo mu dnevni
> > meni na katerem so zajcice, mackice, goske in
> > se mnogo pisane
> > zivalske
> > srenje.
> >
> > Pravi si: "Hmmm, tole sem ze vse probal, zelim
> > si malo eksotike".
> > Vidi, da v spodnem kotu menija omenjajo
> > pitonko. Oci se mu
> > zasvetjijo:" Tooo!..." Pride v sobo in na
> > veliki postelji vidi
> > prelepo
> > pitonko, kako se zapeljivo zvija: "Sssssss...".
> > Pitonka ga opazi in v njeni glavi takoj zasveti
> > rdeca luc -
> > vecerjaaaaa! Sssskkkk in poje ubogega zajca. Ko
> > ji polzi proti
> > trebuhu, ji sine v glavo: "Opppps, mogoce pa to
> > ni bila vecerja ampak
> > stranka!" Takoj ga izpljune.
> >
> > Zajec se otrese, bil je cisto slinast, si
> > pogladi kozuscek in
> > poravna usesa. Jezno rece: " Pazi mala, kako
> fafas!"
> > Ponudijo mu dnevni
> > meni na katerem so zajcice, mackice, goske in
> > se mnogo pisane
> > zivalske
> > srenje.
> >
> > Pravi si: "Hmmm, tole sem ze vse probal, zelim
> > si malo eksotike".
> > Vidi, da v spodnem kotu menija omenjajo
> > pitonko. Oci se mu
> > zasvetjijo:" Tooo!..." Pride v sobo in na
> > veliki postelji vidi
> > prelepo
> > pitonko, kako se zapeljivo zvija: "Sssssss...".
> > Pitonka ga opazi in v njeni glavi takoj zasveti
> > rdeca luc -
> > vecerjaaaaa! Sssskkkk in poje ubogega zajca. Ko
> > ji polzi proti
> > trebuhu, ji sine v glavo: "Opppps, mogoce pa to
> > ni bila vecerja ampak
> > stranka!" Takoj ga izpljune.
> >
> > Zajec se otrese, bil je cisto slinast, si
> > pogladi kozuscek in
> > poravna usesa. Jezno rece: " Pazi mala, kako
> fafas!"
Ikarus ::
:-)
Za poročene:
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What
are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of
that in health class at school." He looks over the display
and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in
this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for
Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then
who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for
Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy; "Then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January,
one for February, one for . . ."
in za pravnike:
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes
dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and
building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and
flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So,
how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and
flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is
going to come up with next."
God replies: "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he
should
never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm
keeping him."
God says: "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And just where are
you going to get a lawyer?"
Za poročene:
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They
happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What
are these, Dad?"
The man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms,
son. Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of
that in health class at school." He looks over the display
and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in
this package?"
The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for
Friday, one for
Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks, "Then
who are these for?"
"Those are for college men," the dad answers, "TWO for
Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy; "Then who uses THESE?" he asks,
picking up a 12-pack.
With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men.
One for January,
one for February, one for . . ."
in za pravnike:
An engineer dies and reports to hell. Pretty soon, the engineer becomes
dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and
building improvements. After a while, they've got air conditioning and
flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer: "So,
how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies: "Hey things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and
flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer
is
going to come up with next."
God replies: "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he
should
never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says: "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm
keeping him."
God says: "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And just where are
you going to get a lawyer?"
Thomas ::
> And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
Hehe ... yea right! Where can he possibly get a lawyer!
Hehe ... yea right! Where can he possibly get a lawyer!
Man muss immer generalisieren - Carl Jacobi
Predator ::
zakaj je Štefka Milanu kupila kolo? Zato ker mu je, ko je šel peš v parlament, že trikrat ustavil šolski avtobus.
R0K ::
Krtek prileze ven iz zemlje ravno sredi nudl plaze in to med nogami neke postavne mlade zenske...
Potiho pride do mednozja in vprasa:"Jezek, a si ti?".
Tisina.
Pa spet:"Jezek, a si ti?"
Tisina.
Potem gre blize, povoha mednozje in vprasa:
"Jezek, a si crknu?!"
Potiho pride do mednozja in vprasa:"Jezek, a si ti?".
Tisina.
Pa spet:"Jezek, a si ti?"
Tisina.
Potem gre blize, povoha mednozje in vprasa:
"Jezek, a si crknu?!"
SkIDiver ::
ROK tega sm učeri slišu. Skor bi crknu od smeha
Pa še en.
Žena pa mož se zvečer uležeta v postlo pa reče mož "žena a bi midva dones?" Pa reče žena "joj dragi sem bla pr ginekologu pa me še vse boli." Mož pa jo vpraša "a pri zobarju si tut bla?"
Pa še en.
Žena pa mož se zvečer uležeta v postlo pa reče mož "žena a bi midva dones?" Pa reče žena "joj dragi sem bla pr ginekologu pa me še vse boli." Mož pa jo vpraša "a pri zobarju si tut bla?"
DavidJ ::
Zadeva: VELIKO USPEHA PRI UCENJU NEMSCINE
> > > Nemscina je v bistvu zelo enostaven jezik. Za tistega, ki zna
latinsko
> > in je navajen na spole in sklone, ne predstavlja večjih tezav. To
povejo
> > > profesorji na prvi uri. Potem pa začnejo z der, die, das, den, itd,
in
> > > govorijo, da je vse naprej logično. Torej enostavno. To bomo tudi
> > dokazali na naslednjem primeru: Nejprej potrebujemo eno Knjigo v
nemskem
jeziku.
> > > Gre za lepo knjigo, v lepih in dragih platnicah, natisnjeni v
Dortmundu, ki govori o čisto navadnem plemenu Hotentotov (auf Deutsch:
Hottentotten).
> > > Knjiga govori, kako lovijo kenguruje (Beutelraten) in jih zapirajo v
> > kletk (Kotter), ki jih potem prekrijejo s tkanino (Lattengitter), da
bi jih
> > > zasčitili pred slabim vremenom. Po nemsko se tem kletkam reče: kletke
> > > prekrite s tkanino (ali Lattengitterkotter), ko pa so v njih
kenguruji,
> > > postanejo Lattengitterkotterbeutelraten. Nekega dne so Hotentori
ujeli
> > > morilca (Attentater), obtozenega, da je ubil mamo (Mutter), prav tako
iz
> > > plemena Hotentotov (torej Hottentottenmutter), mamo malo omejenega in
> > > jecljavega otroka (Stottertrottel). Tej mami se torej po nemsko reče
> > > Hottentottenstottertrottelmutter, njen morilec pa je seveda
> > > Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater. Ujetega so potem zaprli v
> > > kletko za kenguruje (Beutelratenlattengitterkotter), iz katerega je
hitro
> > > pobegnil. Vsi so se podali v lov. Nenadoma je neki hotentotski
bojevnik
> > > vzkliknil:
> > >
> > > - Ujel sem morilca (Attentater)!!!
> > >
> > > - Kaj? Koga?, vprasa poglavar.
> > >
> > > Pa, Lattengitterkotterbeutelratenattentater!!!, odvrne bojevnik
> > >
> > > - Kako? Morilca iz kletke za konguruje prekrite s platnom??, vprasa
> > > poglavar
> > >
> > > - Ja, to je Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater (morilec mame
> > malo omejenega in jecljavega otroka), rece bojevnik.
> > >
> > > - Ja seveda, pravi poglavar, zakaj nisi takoj povedal, da je to
Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterlattengitterkotterbeutelratenattentater!!
> > >
> > > Kot vidite, je nemščina čisto enostavna, le zanimati vas mora.
> > > Nemscina je v bistvu zelo enostaven jezik. Za tistega, ki zna
latinsko
> > in je navajen na spole in sklone, ne predstavlja večjih tezav. To
povejo
> > > profesorji na prvi uri. Potem pa začnejo z der, die, das, den, itd,
in
> > > govorijo, da je vse naprej logično. Torej enostavno. To bomo tudi
> > dokazali na naslednjem primeru: Nejprej potrebujemo eno Knjigo v
nemskem
jeziku.
> > > Gre za lepo knjigo, v lepih in dragih platnicah, natisnjeni v
Dortmundu, ki govori o čisto navadnem plemenu Hotentotov (auf Deutsch:
Hottentotten).
> > > Knjiga govori, kako lovijo kenguruje (Beutelraten) in jih zapirajo v
> > kletk (Kotter), ki jih potem prekrijejo s tkanino (Lattengitter), da
bi jih
> > > zasčitili pred slabim vremenom. Po nemsko se tem kletkam reče: kletke
> > > prekrite s tkanino (ali Lattengitterkotter), ko pa so v njih
kenguruji,
> > > postanejo Lattengitterkotterbeutelraten. Nekega dne so Hotentori
ujeli
> > > morilca (Attentater), obtozenega, da je ubil mamo (Mutter), prav tako
iz
> > > plemena Hotentotov (torej Hottentottenmutter), mamo malo omejenega in
> > > jecljavega otroka (Stottertrottel). Tej mami se torej po nemsko reče
> > > Hottentottenstottertrottelmutter, njen morilec pa je seveda
> > > Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater. Ujetega so potem zaprli v
> > > kletko za kenguruje (Beutelratenlattengitterkotter), iz katerega je
hitro
> > > pobegnil. Vsi so se podali v lov. Nenadoma je neki hotentotski
bojevnik
> > > vzkliknil:
> > >
> > > - Ujel sem morilca (Attentater)!!!
> > >
> > > - Kaj? Koga?, vprasa poglavar.
> > >
> > > Pa, Lattengitterkotterbeutelratenattentater!!!, odvrne bojevnik
> > >
> > > - Kako? Morilca iz kletke za konguruje prekrite s platnom??, vprasa
> > > poglavar
> > >
> > > - Ja, to je Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterattentater (morilec mame
> > malo omejenega in jecljavega otroka), rece bojevnik.
> > >
> > > - Ja seveda, pravi poglavar, zakaj nisi takoj povedal, da je to
Hottentottenstottertrottelmutterlattengitterkotterbeutelratenattentater!!
> > >
> > > Kot vidite, je nemščina čisto enostavna, le zanimati vas mora.
"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'. "
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
- Yoda ('The Empire Strikes Back')
Vredno ogleda ...
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|---|---|---|---|
| Tema | Ogledi | Zadnje sporočilo | |
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