Nobelovci spregovorijo

gledam

Nah, res ni bila prava oddaja. Had high hopes though.... ker sem jo na CNNu ujel tudi samo za rep...

Ne vem, zakaj vsako jajco na CNNu ponavljajo v nedogled, ko pa se pojavi nekaj kvalitetnega, tisto odvrtijo enkrat ekskluzivno in če imaš srečo vidiš, drugače pa....

Annan je pa govoril lepo a polikano - kaj češ drugega pričakovati s take pozicije in ob taki priložnosti.

Kako pa moj optimizem vpliva na tvojega boš pa še razložil?

Ok, da ne bo tale nit popolnoma v prazno. Da se odkupim: par vicov, ki sem jih pobral z ene strani...

But take an old Soviet joke like the one about the man who goes to a post office and complains, ?These new stamps with Lenin do not stick,? to which the bored clerk replies, ?Comrade, you probably spit on the wrong side,?

The last six occupants of the White House are stranded on a listing Titanic. Ford says, ?Oh, no, what do we do??; Bush Senior sternly orders, ?Man the lifeboats!?; Reagan wakes up, ?Huh? What? Lifeboats??; Carter decently suggests ?Women first?; Nixon growls, ?Screw the women?; and, of course, Clinton chimes in hopefully, ?Do we have time??

A telling Hillary Clinton joke has the then-first lady and the president driving along in scenic Arkansas. When they pull over for gas, Clinton notices his wife has jumped out of the car, bounded over to the gas-station attendant, thrown her arms around him, and kissed him with tears of joy. ?Who was that?? a bemused Bill asks as they drive away. ?Oh,? replies Hillary somewhat wistfully, ?he was an old flame I haven?t seen in years.? ?Well,? says Slick Willie with a smirk, ?I guess if you hadn?t married me, you?d be helping him pump gas now.? ?I don?t think so,? says Hillary icily. ?If I had married him, he?d be president now.?

While I was in Beirut earlier in 2001, an activist associated with the anti-Syrian movement told me its latest incarnation: The cia, mi6, and Syrian Intelligence each send an agent to procure a camel. The cia spook accomplishes his mission in a week. The mi6 man returns with a camel soon after. A few months later, the Syrian secret policeman straggles into town with a donkey. When queried by his boss, he repeatedly strikes the beast across the face, shouting, ?Say you?re a camel! Say you?re a camel!?

One about Mubarak has him asking his private secretary to draft a five-minute speech, which he rehearses and annotates incessantly for weeks. Just before he is due to read it to the nation, a beetle-browed Mubarak sits scratching his head. ?I just don?t understand,? he tells the secretary. ?I asked for a five- minute speech, but no matter how hard I try I can?t get this down to less than twenty.? The secretary replies: ?Your Excellency, there are four copies.?

Walter Ulbricht (the Stalinist leader of East Germany) and Willy Brandt meet and exchange pleasantries. ?Do you have a hobby, Herr Brandt?? asks Ulbricht. ?Yes,? replies Brandt, ?I collect jokes about myself. And you?? ?I collect people who collect jokes about me,? responds Ulbricht.

A mid-90s joke had Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, and Dan Quayle riding in a car in Kansas. A tornado suddenly appears and hurls the car into the magical land of Oz. Gingrich says, ?Well, I?m off to see the Wizard and get myself a heart.? Quayle adds, ?I?ll go with you and get a brain.? And a leering Clinton asks, ?Where?s Dorothy?

As the classic Soviet joke goes, one secret policeman asks another, ?So, what do you think of the government?? His colleague looks around before replying, ?The same as you, comrade,? whereupon Policeman No. 1 declares, ?In that case, it is my duty to arrest you.?

As the joke has it, Stalin, Khruschev, and Brezhnev are travelling on a train when it suddenly shudders to a halt. ?Fix it!? orders Stalin. The engineers repair it, but still the train does not move. ?Shoot everyone!? orders Stalin. All the engineers are shot, but the train obstinately refuses to budge. Stalin dies. ?Rehabilitate everyone!? orders Khruschev. The engineers are rehabilitated, but the train remains stationary. Khruschev is removed. ?Close the curtains,? orders Brezhnev, ?and pretend we?re moving!?

?Does two plus two equal four?? ?I don?t know, what did Pravda say this morning??

Leningrad teenagers joked that the initials of the U.S.S.R. (SSSR ? or CCCP, in the Cyrillic alphabet) meant ?Stalin?s Death Will Save Russia? (Smert? Stalina Spaset Rossiiu).

:-)

Ubijal bi za nobelovo nagrado za mir.

Miran Požar, Portorož, www.miranpozar.com